ifs and buts

Posted in Uncategorized on November 8, 2010 by janmichaelgarcia

If I were writing a book. . .

I would start it by saying that “the dark night sky was filled with stars shining bright”. But I don’t really know because I was inside a cab.

The vehicle is going through an unfamiliar path (as all paths are for someone who is geographically challenged/uninterested). We were just from a celebration of a conception that happened 22 years ago. We’ve had beer and – beer is all that is important so let’s not wonder. I would say that I was intoxicated but I really don’t know what level of drunkenness qualifies as intoxicated. Must be the nights when I don’t remember what happened during them when I woke up in the morning. Weighing the circumstance I would say that I was not intoxicated (weird). Because I vividly remember, and shall never forget.

If I had really started one. then I would have followed the epilogue with “the cool breeze brushed up against my skin but is then warmed by the touch of your skin”. But I can’t because warmth is all I get being seated where I had been fortunately placed.

It was a long ride, 3:58 am was the time. It was fine, I was O.K., I was alright with just  having to seat next to. Time passed by I was pretending to sleep – I know I can’t.  It was almost 5:00 am. My state of blissful contentment took a hike and was then replaced by a heightened state of excitement, shock, exhilaration. I was scared but I know I won’t turn back. I was shaking, thoughtless, I didn’t even care if I was bad. There is a hint of beer but everything else was you. I felt like I was in a movie, a romantic one if you will, in a book which tells of wonderful thing, in a poem which speaks of admiration, in a music video of enya it was serene, but really it’s of piolo. ^_______^

If it has a theme i would have played with a theme of perfection, of this is it, of the birds and the bees, of wonderful things. But this might be unrequited so let’s keep our head up out the clouds.

It’s all I can think about. It was all that there is. It’s the only thing that happened. I didn’t wake up, I didn’t get ready, I didn’t wait, I didn’t eat, I didn’t laugh. That’s everything. Yes that’s everything. Nothing more might come after but I’m fine with that. I am thankful. This is the first time that I didn’t demand more, the first time that I was alright with uncertainty, the first time that I played the hand I’ve been given without caring if I win or lose.

if luckily i would get to finish the book, I would have an ending that is as cliché as “they lived happily ever after”  but I won’t.

Because I don’t need an ending. Specially if nothing had begun. Which I am fine with, really. I am not wishing for anything, I am fine with where I am. I don’t demand anything. I feel light inside, I bear no burden. Things are perfect the way they are but I can always adjust. I am not opening any doors because no one might come in, nor am I bolting them shut. I know that there always is the window.

If someday I would get to publish it, that would be nice, but I won’t. A thing as light, as nice, as wonderful as this does not need to be validated, its perfect. . .


my first post. . .

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2010 by janmichaelgarcia

i’ve decided to start a blog because of the tedium that is becoming facebook, facebook applications, youtube, twitter, and what’s that? uuuh? yah friendster. . .
though they still manage to fan the flame i want another use for the internet beside vicariously learning, and reading, through and about others(respectively). . . i want a space where i could lash out and extend my thoughts without really letting everyone know cause god knows who would wonder (and care) if i have a blog. . . wow “i have a blog” kinda cool. . . “i have a blog” hahaha. . .^___^

Hello world!

Posted in Uncategorized on October 15, 2010 by janmichaelgarcia

Welcome to WordPress.com. This is your first post. Edit or delete it and start blogging!